I think positive but why bother thinking when you know it's going to turn out negative? It felt like you're lying to yourself. Why bother helping people who only needs your help as an excuse for them to not even try to help themselves? Coz if things don't turn out right, it's either you'll be blamed or you'll be left in the dark when later you found out the truth and you'll start wondering why and in the end it'll be you who's wrong and being such a fuss. Do people even bother to think of you later? No. Coz if they do, they will go all out to not disappoint you. Instead, I get ignorance. Praying so hard for something will never turn out they way you prayed for coz you don't expect God to give it to you right away. God will give you the strength or some form of direction but you have to use your brain, senses and limbs to make it happen. And if you really want it, YOU WILL GO ALL OUT.
This Ramadhan is my saddest. But it made me realized a lot of things. Even if I cry till I go blind, I'm sure my heart and my brain won't be blinded. I don't know why things turn out the way it is. Hard it seems to let go of something I hold so dear to but I've gotten this determination and I'm not changing that one bit. It takes only me to make a difference to my life.